In chronological order (the same order that they come up in the podcast episode) Practice saying the phrases in bold out loud if you want some pronunciation practice.
Let’s get clever2gether shall we?
One thing that you need to be very clear about is whether someone is asking for feedback or advice
Feedback is more about what you see and experience.
Advice is your opinion.
Make sure that you have their permission
Be respectful of the fact that now not be the right time for your feedback
People are leaving because they are not getting enough feedback
By giving people feedback, you are giving them the opportunity to grow
It’ s important to look at the positives too
No doubt you have heard the advice …
Positive, negative, constructive, pragmatic
Psychologically, this is a worthwhile thing to do, it makes sense
More open to the constructive feedback
Tell them why you thought it was good
You did this and I thought it was good because …
This gives them the big picture
A clients perspective, a stakeholder, a shareholder
TONGUE TWISTER An employees’ perspective
Give them the chance to process what you saying
Nobody can process that
No need to be over dramatic but …
Use pauses and some silence, for them to reflect
Ask them how they felt that it went
This will give you an idea of what is important to them
Be honest and open
Giving constructive advice can feel awkward and uncomfortable
You’ll be much more motivated to give people advice when people come back to you with a little success story
What does that make you?
That makes you the leader
Being a leader isn’t about job titles is it.
Leadership is about the way that you make people feel
confirmation, reassurance, justification
Feedback is incredibly important
Practice this skill (giving feedback) in a completely different setting away from your boss, colleagues, clients
You will prepare for specific business situations
You will become more approachable
What’s done is done, think about the next time they perform
What can they change, going forward
Something more rudimentary like their mindset
Be very specific about the type of feedback that you would appreciate.
Give them an opportunity to tell you how they feel that it went
Coaching discoveries stick more longer term and impact behaviour
I noticed that you …
I saw that you were ….
Tell me a little bit about how you felt
You pull people in more with a conversation
It’s very tempting to give feedback about everything
Can you imagine how intimidating that might be?
Don’t try to correct everything at once
Try to articulate exactly what you would like feedback on
By trying to correct everything at once you won’t know what it was that boosted the performance
One thing at a time
Feedback needs to be relevant to their level of experience
Positive feedback is more motivational and effective
I find it really difficult to …
Focus on that
Help them to conquer that little part of the process
Give advice in a respectful way
Use your words carefully, be respectful
That way you’ll have a better chance of picking them up exactly where they are
Constructive feedback can actually be given in a very charming way
There is no need to be rude
Don’t be frightened of using a bit of humour, choose your timing (and tone of voice carefully)
That wouldn’t have had the same impact would it?
If like me you are a note taker, frantically writing notes
If you are a note keeper, resist the temptation to frantically write too much notes, especially if you need to focus on things like body language, so try to be present.
Concentrate on the action, not the person.
Use ‘I’ sentences
I noticed that you used your hands a lot, which was great but …
It’s up to you if you accept that feedback or not
If someone has just given an overview of their KPIs
You were boring… not going to win you too many popularity points
Ask them if they need any clarification or explanations or if anything wasn’t clear
Give them an open door for them to come back and do a dummy run with you having put in the changes that you suggested
Make yourself available for that
A win-win situation
You always learn something when you give feedback
COMMUNICATION CHALLENGE – Simply sign up for my free Haiku event on Friday where you will get the opportunity to ‘play with words’ and practice giving feedback in a respectful and motivational way.
As well as joining us for the Haiku Event on the 29th of April, where we will be practicing giving and accepting feedback, try this….
1. Ask someone to give you feedback on something specific this week and observe what motivated you and what put a dent in your confidence.
2. Then if you notice something about someone else’s performance, that you think would help someone to make a more professional impression next time, ask them if they would appreciate some feedback. Be compassionate about the timing. Remember to
a) start with a question,
b) use ‘I statements’,
c) use the +-+ sandwich of positive and negative.
3. Finally,take a moment at the end to signal your availability for an update and optimization and ask yourself how it felt to give feedback.
The Clever2gether Communication Podcast comes out every Thursday afternoon