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Clever2gether Communication - Episode 123

Communicating with Sensitive Souls #123

Instead of treading on egg shells, supercharge your leadership skills

Show Notes

Expert Info

 Xiao Chen
Talks about #futureofwork, #dataexcellence, #datamanagement, #positiveleadership, and #personaldevelopment  https://www.linkedin.com/in/xiao-chen-vienna/

Summary of the Clever2gether Communication Podcast Episode 123 about Communicating with Sensitive Souls

 

Disappointment is a reflection of someone’s ambition and need to get things done right. Sensitive people only get upset if they are emotionally connected to the situation, so be sure to find out what is upsetting them and why.

Sensitive souls tend to lack confidence and faith in their own abilities so give them the opportunities to gain the experience and success stories to build their self esteem in manageable or bite sized chunks.

Find out what they enjoy doing and why, what is driving them. Give them more of what makes them shine.

Empathy is a key leadership trait, as too is motivation so focus on those to get the sensitive ones on board.

Practice open communication, active listening and observation skills to make yourself more approachable.

Being approachable doesn’t mean that you are a walk over or not deserving their respect. (Richard Branson, Former President Obama and Adrienne Huffington have all exercised great compassion)

Everyone in your organisation deserves a career which is fulfilling, inspiring and challenging, it is your job as the leader to make that happen.

Successful souls are often the key to success, so pay attention, learn and take action

Be aware of the toxic personalities, don’t turn a blind eye, control them or say goodbye because your strong performers deserve to feel comfortable appreciated and accepted at work.

Preparing for a discussion with a sensitive soul – have tissues, water and tea available

Remember that when you are discussing their performance it is all about their role, their work, their results, not their personality or them as an individual.

Listen carefully to find out what they think they are good at and would like to do more of, then tune into why.

Make yourself approachable by sharing your lessons, emotions, mistakes – it will make you relatable, ream and authentic

Nobody wants to reach out for help, so be perceptive, watch carefully and make yourself available, approachable and accessible.

Don’t be aloof, we have all struggled, doubted, we all started at the bottom and have had bad days.

 

2 communication challenges for sensitive souls

Behavioural Opposites

Observe if someone is doing something that annoys you, then look at it from their perspective and ask yourself whether there is anything about the way that you work that is the complete opposite of what they do.

precise/vague …
fast speaker/slow speaker …
ahead of schedule/later or JUST on time

Mountain Time Line of Successes

Map out your successes so far on a horizontal time line from leaving school to now, how did you feel immediately before and after those ‘mountain peak’ achievements.

Identify the emotions and put things into perspective. Look at how much you have achieved already when you have faith in your abilities

Vocabulary

In the order that it appears in the episode

Some of my clients appreciate being able to listen the podcast and see the words as they come up.

treading on egg shells
recognised
appreciated
awkward
uncomfortable
likewise
prone to crying
tactics & strategies
incredibly important for your org
mirror reflection of their ambition
probably means that…
emotional and passionate
make a difference
might not be the most appropriate
indifferent
opportunity
over-emotional
what is it that I can find out from this person
address it
don’t just turn a blind eye
ss have one thing in common
lack of self confidence
zoning in on the positives >>> last week*’s episode
overwhelmed
try out
encouragement
faith in their abilities
dying for them to go for
map out your life on a time line
how they/you felt before and after each success
consider your current situation
feel a lot less insurmountable
went pretty well
more powerful and connected to their goal
ultimately
if you feel awkward when someone gets upset ask yourself why that is
icky
out of your depth as a leaders
embarrassed
powerless
pick them up
empathy is a key leadership trait, that doesn’t make you a walk over
valued, appreciated and respected
everybody deserves to be seen and respected, that’s what you would expect too
fulfilling, inspiring and challenging
rewarding experience, being at the helm of that team
stuck in a rut >>> career coaching / communication coaching
you’re not stuck, nobody is keeping you hostage
it doesn’t have to be with your existing employer
reach out and I can help you with that >>> Business English
ss are often the key to success
they are often more observant
it plays on their mind
lighten the load
improve personal and corporate performance
toxic personalities are often upsetting more people that you know about
street smart/streetwise
the moment you get wind of something like that..
nip things in the bud
the great people on your team need to be protected

If you want to avoid a sinking ship, get a grip
leadership often makes you feel uncomfortable, otherwise we would all be in leadership positions
put them at ease
you suspect might be a bit tricky
you’re there for them, every step of the way <<< mentor episode
you’re trying to help them grow
if you did this, I think you could be even better

have your antennae up and listen carefully
show genuine interest
no need to interrogate the poor thing
the opportunity to mix and be sociable
one way that I pull people in
they are not the only one in this situation
i know how frustrating/irritating it is
a milder washed out version of myself
make yourself relatable and real,
auf Augenhöhe – on a par with (equal in importance or quality to)
the more that you help someone to realise that they can ask questions
you’ll get them to understand what they are struggling with

the expectation is that that person knows everything that they need to know
as the leader you need to be observant
you’ll be facing rejection or worse still lack the courage to even apply (sorry I inadvertently deleted that word)
don’t be aloof
insecure, out of our depth
follow in the footsteps of great leaders like …
so provide a working environment in which people can thrive, by asking the right questions and providing support that they need on tap
surprised

likely to get some (great) feedback
words of advice are always worth their weight in gold
the same is true of compassion
ss are not slow thinkers, they are careful communicators
it is a good observation skill to have
the chances are that they are equally irritated by what you are doing, which is often the opposite
OTT – over the top
pedantic/sloppy
love the sound of their own voicethink first, then speak

been through that learning loop
be patient, give them time, do not interrupt
indulge them with the time
listen, soak up the knowledge that they are sharing with you
pseudo rhetorical questions
cut them off
stimmt oder, stimmt? isn’t that so? isn’t it >>> Question Tags Video
make it easy to schedule time with you
make yourself available
that is to a certain extent a part of being a leader
it terms of trustworthiness…

embrace the sensitive souls
deal with disappointment
don’t put your head in the sand >>>
want to be the best that they can be

 

Other shows that you might well enjoy...

If you enjoyed this show, then you might well appreciate the following three shows from the Clever2gether Communication Archives

Episodes 99. 105. 119
Stop Taking things personally #119
Mentoring #115
Compassionate Leadership (Interview) #99

Coco would love to hear from you...

What surprised you most about the episode, what did you learn, and which topics would you love to know more about?

Go on, make my day, share a success story about working well with sensitive people or perhaps as a sensitive person. No matter how small or significant it might feel, because remember, every conversation is carving your reputation and personal brand.

Future Episodes

Episode 124 – Giving Instructions
Episode 125 – Using analogies
Episode 126 – Business Storytelling